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Home > Humor Greeting Cards

Humorous Greeting Cards - Classic Quotes With Funny Photos

Check out are these humorous greeting cards - great quotes with very funny pictures - perfect as birthday cards, or all occasion cards. Classic, funny quotations with great humor photos. We dare you to try not to laugh.



Only Young Once - Card
"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely."
$2.95
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Never Made A Mistake - Card
"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
$2.50
Women And Cats - Card
"Women and cats will do as they damn well please. Men and dogs had better get used to it."
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Immoral Illegal Or Fattening - Card
"All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening." ~ Alexander Woollcott
$2.95
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Reality Doesn't Go Away - Card
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
$2.50
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A Computer Lets You Make More Mistakes - Card
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
$2.50
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Whoever Caused Things  - Card
"Whoever caused things to be this way, I hope they catch him." ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
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You Can Observe A Lot - Card
"You can observe a lot by looking." ~ Yogi Berra
$2.50
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The Little I Know - Greeting Card
"The little I know, I owe to my ignorance." ~ Sacha Guitry
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So Many Frogs To Kiss - Greeting Card
"We wouldn't have to work so hard if there weren't so many frogs to kiss."
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Battle of the Sexes  - Card
"The battle of the sexes is a lost cause. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy."
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One Must Stay Sober - Greeting Card
"One must stay sober: not always, but most of the time."
$2.50
You Only Live Once - Greeting Card
"You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough."
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Doesn't Being Normal - Greeting Card
"Doesn't being normal just drive you crazy?"
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All Of The Things I Really Like To Do  - Card
"All of the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening." ~ Alexander Woolcott
$2.50
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All Progress Is Based On  - Card
"All progress is based on a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income." ~ Samuel Butler
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The Best Way To Impress A Girl - Card
"The best way to impress a girl? Roast her a chicken." ~ Janice Plourde
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Dogs - Not What They Give - Card
"Dogs. It's not what they give to you, it's what they bring out in you."
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I Can Say What I Want - Greeting Card
"Ain't nobody going to censor me, no sir! At my age, honey, I can say what I want." ~ Bessie (Annie Elizabeth) Delaney
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Never Put Off Until Tomorrow- Funny Card
"Never put off until tomorrow the fun you can have today." Aldous Huxley
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I Always Wanted To Be Somebody - Funny Greeting Card
"I always wanted to be somebody, but I realize I should have been more specific." Lily Tomlin
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Its Not The Men In Your Life - Greeting Card
"It's not the men in your life, it's the life in your men." Mae West
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Always Dressing In Understated Good Taste - Greeting Card
"Always dressing in understated good taste is the same as playing dead."
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Looking Like Cindy Crawford - Greeting Card
"Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford." ~ Cindy Crawford
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Good Girls Gone Wrong - Greeting Card
"There are no good girls gone wrong - just bad girls found out." ~ Mae West
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Dress For Success - Greeting Card
"It pays to dress for success."
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A Day Without Laughter - Greeting Card
"A day without laughter is a wasted day." ~ Charles Chaplin
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Life Is Uncertain - Greeting Card
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first." ~ Ernestine Ulmer
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He Who Has The Fastest Golf Cart - Greeting Card
"He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie." ~ Mickey Mantle
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Youth Lasts Much Longer - Greeting Card
"Youth. It lasts much longer than young people think." ~ Comtesse Diane de Beausacq
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Do Nothing, Rest Afterwards - Greeting Card
"How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterwards." ~ Spanish Proverb
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Any Man Who Can Drive Safely While Kissing - Greeting Card
"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." ~ Albert Einstein
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What Could Possibly Matter More - Greeting Card
"What could possibly matter more in life than a cheap momentary thrill?" ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
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We Look Forward To A Disorderly Old Age - Greeting Card
"We look forward to a disreputable, vigorous, and disorderly old age." ~ Don Marquis
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There are many, many other funny cards in the Borealis Press collection.
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Hilarious Greeting Cards
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