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Funny Greeting Cards - Classic Quotes With Funny Photos

Check out are these very funny quote cards - great quotes with hilarious pictures - perfect for birthday, or any occasion - from Borealis Press and QuoteArts.com. Great combinations of funny quotations and entertaining pictures. We dare you to try not to laugh.

Fashion Taste - Card "I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." $2.95 Fashion Taste - Card bp354	Act Normal - Card "Act Normal. That's already crazy enough." $2.95 Act Normal - Card bp061
If Cats Could Talk - Greeting Card "If cats could talk, they wouldn't." ~ Nan Porter $2.95 If Cats Could Talk - Greeting Card bp383	Times Not To Flirt - Card "There are times not to flirt: When you're sick. When you're with children. When you're on the witness stand." $2.50 Times Not To Flirt - Card BP5003
Never Have Children - Card "Never have children, only grandchildren." $2.95 Never Have Children - Card BP437	Life Is One Damn Thing - Card "It is not true that life is one damn thing after another. It is one damn thing over and over." $2.50 Life Is One Damn Thing - Card BP456
The Longer She Dates Me - Card "The longer she dates me, the better she looks." $2.50 The Longer She Dates Me - Card BP435	What Better Success - Greeting Card "What better success than to live well, laugh lots, and love much?" $2.50 What Better Success - Greeting Card BP390
Opportunity May Knock - Greeting Card "Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell." $2.95 Opportunity May Knock - Greeting Card bp392	Do Something Outrageous - Greeting Card "My goal is to do something outrageous every day." ~ Maggie Kuhn $2.95 Do Something Outrageous - Greeting Card BP384
There Used To Be A Real Me - Card "There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed." ~ Peter Sellers $2.50 There Used To Be A Real Me - Card BP5005	We'd All Like To Vote For The Best Man - Card "We'd all like to vote for the best man, but she's never a candidate." ~ Frank McKinney Hubbard $2.50 We'd All Like To Vote For The Best Man - Card BP5017
The Older I Get - Card "The older I get, The faster I was." ~ Charles Barkley $2.50 The Older I Get - Card BP5049	All Men Are Intrinsical Rascals - Card "All men are intrinsical rascals, and I am only sorry that not being a dog I can't bite them." ~ Lord Byron $2.50
To Exercise Is Human - Card "To exercise is human. Not to is divine." ~ Robert Orben $2.50 To Exercise Is Human - Card BP129	One Cannot Think Well - Card "One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well." ~ Virginia Woolf $2.95 One Cannot Think Well - Card BP490
I Love Deadlines - Greeting Card "I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." ~ Douglas Adams $2.95 I Love Deadlines - Greeting Card bp515	Love Is Two Minds Without - Greeting Card "Love is two minds without a single thought." ~ Philip Barry $2.50 Love Is Two Minds Without - Greeting Card BP402
Lead Me Not Into Temptation - Card "Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself." ~ Rita Mae Brown $2.50	Parents Are The Bones - Card "Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth." ~ Peter Ustinov $2.50
My Life To Live Again - Card "If I had my life to live again, I would make the same mistakes, only sooner." ~ Tallulah Bankhead $2.95 My Life To Live Again - Card BP425	It Don't Mean A Thing - Greeting Card "It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing." ~ Duke Ellington $2.50 It Don't Mean A Thing - Greeting Card BP413
Don�t Tell My Mother - Card "Don't tell my mother I'm in politics. She thinks I'm playing piano in a brothel." ~ Anonymous $2.50 Don�t Tell My Mother - Card BP352	Every Plan A - Greeting Card "Every Plan A needs a Plan B." $2.95 Every Plan A - Greeting Card bp522
A Fool And His Money - Greeting Card "There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody." ~ Adlai Stevenson $2.95 A Fool And His Money - Greeting Card BP542	Education Is A Wonderful Thing - Greeting Card "Education is a wonderful thing. If you couldn't sign your name you'd have to pay cash." ~ Rita Mae Brown $2.95 Education Is A Wonderful Thing - Greeting Card BP486
Do It Tomorrow - Greeting Card "Do it tomorrow. We've already made enough mistakes today." ~ Dawn Powell $2.95 Do It Tomorrow - Greeting Card BP492	Be Yourself - Greeting Card "Be yourself, everybody else is already taken." ~ Oscar Wilde $2.95 Be Yourself - Greeting Card bp539
The Best Thing About Needing Help - Greeting Card "The best thing about needing help is that it's a good way to meet people." ~ Ashleigh Brilliant $2.95 The Best Thing About Needing Help - Greeting Card BP520	I Think Of You and Roast Beef - Greeting Card "I think of you. You and roast beef, medium rare." $2.50
All I Ask Is The Chance - Greeting Card "All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan $2.95 All I Ask Is The Chance - Greeting Card BP491	Maturity Is A Phase - Greeting Card "Maturity is a phase. Adolescence is forever." $2.95 Maturity Is A Phase - Greeting Card BP495
Women Don't Retire - Greeting Card "Women don't retire, they just keep on cooking." $2.95 Women Don't Retire - Greeting Card BP540	Summer Afternoon - Greeting Card "Summer afternoon...the two most beautiful woeds in the English language." ~ Henry James $2.50 Summer Afternoon - Greeting Card BP494
There's a Dance - Greeting Card "There's a dance in the old dames yet." ~ Don Marquis $2.95 There's a Dance - Greeting Card bp554	One Effective Weapon - Greeting Card "The human race has only one really effective weapon, and that is laughter." ~ Mark Twain $2.95 One Effective Weapon - Greeting Card bp513
Life Is One Fool Thing - Greeting Card "Life is one fool thing after another, whereas love is two fool things after each other." ~ Oscar Wilde $2.95 Life Is One Fool Thing - Greeting Card bp569	Dance First Think Later - Greeting Card "Dance first. Think later. It's the natural order." ~ Samuel Beckett $2.95 Dance First Think Later - Greeting Card bp533
Some Friends Please - Card "Some friends please, some friends squeeze, some give the heart a tug..." $2.50	Thought I'd Wake Up Famous - Card "I thought I'd wake up famous, but I only woke up late. $2.95 Thought I'd Wake Up Famous - Card bp521
If I Were Two-faced - Card "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" ~ Abraham Lincoln $2.95 If I Were Two-faced - Card BP537	If Evolution Really Works - Card "If evolution really works, how come mother have only two hands?" ~ Milton Berle $2.95 If Evolution Really Works - Card BP525
Sometimes I Feel Protected - Card "Sometimes I feel protected, and I don't know why." $2.95 Sometimes I Feel Protected - Card bp523	Too Much Of A Good Thing - Greeting Card "Too much of a good thing can be wonderful." ~Mae West $2.95 Too Much Of A Good Thing - Greeting Card BP412
Develop Your Eccentricities - Greeting Card "Develop your eccentricities while you're young. That way, when you're old, people won't think you're gaga." ~David Ogilvy $2.95 Develop Your Eccentricities - Greeting Card BP609	Inside Every Older Lady - Greeting Card "Inside every older lady is a young woman wondering what the hell happened." ~Unknown $2.95 Inside Every Older Lady - Greeting Card BP605
Sometimes I Wonder - Greeting Card "Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." ~ Mark Twain $2.95 Sometimes I Wonder - Greeting Card BP585	Don't Dwell On Reality - Greeting Card "Don't dwell on reality. It will only keep you from greatness." ~ Rev. Randall R. McBride, Jr. $2.95 Don't Dwell On Reality - Greeting Card BP560
Remember Misers - Greeting Card "Remember MISERS? They could SAVE money!" $2.95 Remember Misers - Greeting Card BP549	Supply Of Good Women - Greeting Card "The supply of good women far exceeds that of men who deserve them." ~ Robert Graves $2.95 Supply Of Good Women - Greeting Card BP597
Progress May Have Been All Right - Greeting Card "Progress may have been all right once, but it has gone on too long." ~ Ogden Nash $2.95 Progress May Have Been All Right - Greeting Card BP511	I Used To Be Snow White - Greeting Card "I used to be Snow White, but then I drifted." ~ Mae West $2.95 I Used To Be Snow White - Greeting Card BP583
The Greatest Pleasure - Greeting Card "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what other people say you cannot do." ~ Walter Bagehot $2.95 The Greatest Pleasure - Greeting Card BP581	Plans Get You Into Things - Greeting Card "Plans get you into things, but you got to work your way out." ~ Will Rogers $2.95 Plans Get You Into Things - Greeting Card BP580
Two Kinds of Men - Greeting Card "I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported" ~ Mae West $2.95 Two Kinds of Men - Greeting Card BP568	Never Wanted To Be A Millionaire - Greeting Card "I never wanted to be a millionaire, just to lve like one." ~ Walter Hagen $2.95 Never Wanted To Be A Millionaire - Greeting Card BP552
The Only Normal People - Greeting Card "The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well." ~ Joe Ancis $2.95 The Only Normal People - Greeting Card BP584	Some Things Have To Be Believed - Birthday Card "Some things have to be believed to be seen." ~ Ralph Hodgson $2.95 Some Things Have To Be Believed - Birthday Card BP162HB
Yield To Temptation - Greeting Card "Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again." ~ Robert Heinlein $2.95 Yield To Temptation - Greeting Card BP613	People Our Parents Warned Us About - Greeting Card "We have become the kind of people our parents warned us about." ~ Augustus John $2.95 People Our Parents Warned Us About - Greeting Card BP611
Your Friends May Be Nuts - Greeting Card "Your friends may be nuts, but they're rooting for you." $2.95 Your Friends May Be Nuts - Greeting Card BP599	Living Above My Income - Greeting Card "I'm living so far above my income that we may almost be said to be living apart." ~ Saki $2.95 Living Above My Income - Greeting Card BP548
I Don't Want Realistic - Borealis Press Greeting Card "I don't want realistic! I want magic!" ~ Tennessee Williams $2.95 I Don't Want Realistic - Borealis Press Greeting Card BP655	Zest Is the Secret of All Beauty - Borealis Press Greeting Card "ZEST is the secret of all beauty." ~ Christian Dior $2.95 Zest Is the Secret of All Beauty - Borealis Press Greeting Card BP664
I Intend To Remain Young Indefinitely - Borealis Press Greeting Card "I intend to remain young indefinitely." ~ Mary Pickford $2.95 I Intend To Remain Young Indefinitely - Borealis Press Greeting Card BP665	Women Are Like Tea Bags - Borealis Press Greeting Card "Women are like tea bags. We don't know our strength until we are in hot water." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt $2.95 Women Are Like Tea Bags - Borealis Press Greeting Card BP671
He Who Sings Scares Away - Borealis Press Greeting Card "He who sings scares away his woes." ~Miguel de Cervantes $2.95 He Who Sings Scares Away - Borealis Press Greeting Card BP672	Wise Enough To Never Grow Up - Greeting Card "I was wise enough to never grow up, while fooling other people into believing that I had." ~ Margaret Mead $2.95 Wise Enough To Never Grow Up - Greeting Card BP660